1Matjesfontein
2April 23 / 92
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4A funny idea has struck me about the enclosed cuttings, that perhaps I
5am meant!!! So many lies have been told about me already that now I
6wonder at nothing, & I think feel pained at nothing, not even at being
7told that I was ^am^ a Roman Catholic. What makes it likely that I am
8meant is that it is exactly the opposite of the truth, that I was
9^always^ trying to cheer up Amy Levy (if it be intended for her,) &
10professing that I found life so delightful & worth living I’ve often
11felt since that if I’d been more sympathetic to her melancholy mood,
12I might have done more for her. In her last note to me she said,
13“You care for science & art & helping your fellow men, therefore
14life is worth living to ^you, to^ me it is worth nothing,” & the last
15thing I sent her was Ed Carpenters “Do Not Hurry, have faith.”
16which she sent back to me the night before her death with the words,
17“It might have helped me once it is too late now, philosophy cannot
18help me.” unreadable It’s very funny how exactly the opposite of
19the truth as the stories in papers, a sort of inversion!! The It’s
20very funny. I should have
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22^minded once but I think I am getting hardened now!!^
23
24Olive.
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