1 March 24th 1908
2
3 Thanks for wire, dear old man. I only want to live many years more if
4I can work, if not I’d rather die today. I’m getting to the last
5end of the money Fred left me, & yet even when I’m better as I am
6the last three days I can’t put pressure on myself or the pump stops
7working & sticks. You see all creative work of any kind, even original
8thought on impersonal matters, if its your own & comes from you, has
9to be done under a certain amount emotional & intellectual pressure, &
10that means physical heart pressure. I think I broke down at de Aar in
11the way I have just because I did write a chapter & a half shut up in
12that little room with the temperature inside from 85 to 95 day & night.
13 I am going to make a good beginning for the new year by getting out
14all my papers today, & tomorrow! I shall write! However I am doing
15flourishingly those sickening angina attacks going over, & Cron has
16promised me till I come back next month to sleep at the hotel, not in
17our little burgled room. I always think when I sit there & hear the
18men chopping at the bricks out side, that it is a grave they are
19building, not a house. But this is no doubt because I h am over
20strained with the life there. A curious thing happened a few ^two^ days
21before I left. Some people in the town say, they have heard a sound
22bitter unreadable agonized cries, as of a little girl about 6 or 8
23passing from the Camp to Mayer’s house. Mayer, told Cron, he also
24heard it; it seemed to him in his own back-yard, in his W.C. He took
25out his famous fierce bull-dog who would tear a man or woman to pieces
26as soon as as look at him, Mayer says, but the dog only whined & saw
27nothing! The sound of the agonized crys passed on from his house
28across the veld to our house ^Mayer says^ & died away near a lonely clup
29clum of aloes on the flat behind our house. This is all rather strange
30Of course the de Aar people are all quite sure it was a ghost! They
31will never come that way at night, & if they hear any cries it will be
32the ghost! But the whole thing is certainly curious!! To say the least!
33
34^I shall be here till the 13th of April as they are painting the house
35at de Aar. Do try & spend a day with me here. I shall never see you to
36have a talk with you even if I should come to Cape Town which is not
37likely. It’s about Dot something about which I should much like my
38mind sent at rest. Do leave the dear child there two years more. She
39is just beginning to reap advantages from her visit now. ^
40
41 Ol
42
43 I got a nice wire from the Naudes this morning. Was so glad to get it.
44Wish he could come here for a couple of months. The dear old fellow
45will enjoy some chats with about books &c
46
47 ^Of course you know that J T Molteno is to be the next speaker. It’s
48an open secret; but if it’s still regarded as a secret, make it one,
49though every one knows it in the SA Party.^
50
51 ^Private^
52