"Thrown away 10 years of my life to prevent inevitable" Read the full letter
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Letter ReferenceLetters/228
Archive
Epistolary Type
Letter Date25 April 1887
Address FromAlassio, Italy
Address To
Who ToHavelock Ellis
Other VersionsCronwright-Schreiner 1924: 116
PermissionsPlease read before using or citing this transcription
Legend
When Cronwright-Schreiner prepared The Letters of Olive Schreiner, with few exceptions he then destroyed her originals. However, some people gave him copies and kept the originals or demanded the return of these; and when actual Schreiner letters can be compared with his versions, his have omissions, distortions and bowdlerisations. Where Schreiner originals have survived, these will be found in the relevant collections across the OSLO website. There is however a residue of some 587 items in The Letters for which no originals are extant. They are included here for sake of completeness. However, their relationship to Schreiners actual letters cannot now be gauged, and so they should be read with caution for the reasons given.
1To Havelock Ellis.
2Alassio, 25th April.
3
4Harry, you must send me that letter of - . I shall be absolutely mad
5in a few days. I have not slept or really seen anything since I got
6your letter saying you had written to - after I had written begging
7you not to write about me. You will feel this one day. I am quite mad.
8I can't bear it. I am going out to walk on the hills now. Oh God! Oh
9God! Will you tell me what you wrote? Can you torture me like this?
10and leave me in this mad agony of suspense? Surely you will have sent
11it before. Oh, my brain, my brain, my brain.
12