"Wicked mad diplomacy, lying & darkness" Read the full letter
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Letter ReferenceLetters/335
Archive
Epistolary Type
Letter Date19 January 1889
Address FromMentone, France
Address To
Who ToHavelock Ellis
Other VersionsCronwright-Schreiner 1924: 152-3
PermissionsPlease read before using or citing this transcription
Legend
When Cronwright-Schreiner prepared The Letters of Olive Schreiner, with few exceptions he then destroyed her originals. However, some people gave him copies and kept the originals or demanded the return of these; and when actual Schreiner letters can be compared with his versions, his have omissions, distortions and bowdlerisations. Where Schreiner originals have survived, these will be found in the relevant collections across the OSLO website. There is however a residue of some 587 items in The Letters for which no originals are extant. They are included here for sake of completeness. However, their relationship to Schreiners actual letters cannot now be gauged, and so they should be read with caution for the reasons given.
1To Havelock Ellis.
2Mentone, 19th Jan.
3
4My Havelock, I am writing to you from simple outgoing of the heart
5this afternoon. It's a perfect day, the first like this we've had for
6a long time. I've not been working. I've had too much pain and
7headache, but I'm better this evening. ... I think no one would ever
8understand what I have suffered from my periods the last two years and
9a half. The only time I have quite escaped the agony was when I took
10that opium pill you sent, but I suppose that was chance. You must
11study this matter of women's suffering some day. Something ought to be
12done for us. ... Yes, it's best I go to the Cape, dear. Then after 5
13or 6 years I may come back to Europe. ... Harry, one does get to a
14kind of Heaven at last, a Heaven where one doesn't care.
15