"George Murray killed; my heart is folding round you with love; I hate war" Read the full letter
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Letter ReferenceLetters/306
Epistolary Type
Letter Date3 October 1888
Address FromHarpenden, Hertfordshire
Address To
Who ToHavelock Ellis
Other VersionsCronwright-Schreiner 1924: 142
PermissionsPlease read before using or citing this transcription
When Cronwright-Schreiner prepared The Letters of Olive Schreiner, with few exceptions he then destroyed her originals. However, some people gave him copies and kept the originals or demanded the return of these; and when actual Schreiner letters can be compared with his versions, his have omissions, distortions and bowdlerisations. Where Schreiner originals have survived, these will be found in the relevant collections across the OSLO website. There is however a residue of some 587 items in The Letters for which no originals are extant. They are included here for sake of completeness. However, their relationship to Schreiners actual letters cannot now be gauged, and so they should be read with caution for the reasons given.
1To Havelock Ellis.
2Harpenden, 3rd Oct. (second letter).
4Oh, it is awful to be a woman. These women are killing me. Give my
5love to Louie, but I don’t want to see her or any other woman. I want
6to live alone, alone, alone. I don’t say the fault is not in myself,
7but they are doing it all the same. When I am in Italy I needn’t open
8any letters they write me, eh? Old Chapman has offered me £100 for
9African Farm for two and a half years. I must take it to escape abroad.
10 I wonder if I shall ever come back to England among these women again.
11 One must die at last, eh Harry? Oh, please see that they bury me in a
12place where there are no women. I’ve not been a woman really, though
13I’ve seemed like one.