"My arms stretching out to Alice Greene; if I could put my love into words, must feel it coming to you across the miles" Read the full letter
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Letter ReferenceLetters/293
Archive
Epistolary Type
Letter Date19 August 1888
Address FromChertsey, Surrey
Address To
Who ToHavelock Ellis
Other VersionsCronwright-Schreiner 1924: 139
PermissionsPlease read before using or citing this transcription
Legend
When Cronwright-Schreiner prepared The Letters of Olive Schreiner, with few exceptions he then destroyed her originals. However, some people gave him copies and kept the originals or demanded the return of these; and when actual Schreiner letters can be compared with his versions, his have omissions, distortions and bowdlerisations. Where Schreiner originals have survived, these will be found in the relevant collections across the OSLO website. There is however a residue of some 587 items in The Letters for which no originals are extant. They are included here for sake of completeness. However, their relationship to Schreiners actual letters cannot now be gauged, and so they should be read with caution for the reasons given.
1To Havelock Ellis.
2Chertsey, 19th Aug.
3
4Last night I woke up crying, and it seemed to me something was the
5matter with you. I always wake up crying in the night, but generally I
6don't know what is the matter with me. Are you well, dear? ... You
7have suffered so much, my Havelock. Only I can't quite understand that
8anyone should ever have suffered about me. I can understand that
9people should respect and admire me, but not that they love me. But
10you did once, and we all must let love die. ... I am longing very much
11to get out of England, but I have yet no money, and I don't quite know
12where to go. ... I want to have you here for a whole day to myself
13before I go, and I want to cook you a nice dinner. You must once in
14your life eat a real dinner I've cooked!
15