"Small Schreiner expected by Will & Fan, many London friends" Read the full letter
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Letter ReferenceLetters/13
Archive
Epistolary Type
Letter Date9 January 1879
Address FromRatel Hoek, Halesowen, Eastern Cape
Address To
Who ToErilda Cawood nee Buckley
Other VersionsCronwright-Schreiner 1924: 6; Rive 1897: 23
PermissionsPlease read before using or citing this transcription
Legend
When Cronwright-Schreiner prepared The Letters of Olive Schreiner, with few exceptions he then destroyed her originals. However, some people gave him copies and kept the originals or demanded the return of these; and when actual Schreiner letters can be compared with his versions, his have omissions, distortions and bowdlerisations. Where Schreiner originals have survived, these will be found in the relevant collections across the OSLO website. There is however a residue of some 587 items in The Letters for which no originals are extant. They are included here for sake of completeness. However, their relationship to Schreiners actual letters cannot now be gauged, and so they should be read with caution for the reasons given.
1To Mrs. Cawood.
2Ratel Hoek, 9th Jan.
3
4I wish I could see you. Perhaps it would give you a little happiness,
5and it would do me so much much good. I mean mentally and spiritually.
6I am getting to be such a selfish miserable creature. I wish I were as
7good as you. Perhaps if I saw you I would get like you. I would like
8to be so good that everything that I loved and that loved me was
9better and nobler and stronger for that love, but now it isn't so. I
10am so selfish. I'm not content to love. I want to be loved back again.
11We talk so much of intellect and of knowledge, but what are they!
12After all, the heart can't live on them. One would barter all one's
13knowledge for one kiss and all one's intellect for one tender touch –
14just one. ...
15