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Letter ReferenceHRC/CAT/OS/1b-iiiHRC/OS/FRAGHRC/UNCAT/OS-159
ArchiveHarry Ransom Center, University of Texas, Austin
Epistolary TypeLetter
Letter Date12 July 1884
Address FromBolehill, Wirksworth, Derbyshire
Address To24 Thornsett Road, South Penge Park, London
Who ToHavelock Ellis
Other VersionsCronwright-Schreiner 1924: 30-1; Draznin 1992: 92-4
The manuscript of this letter by Olive Schreiner belongs to the Archive referenced above; its ownership of the original should be acknowledged by referencing the letter as indicated: Copyright transcription: © Olive Schreiner Letters Project. This transcription can be freely used as long as copyright is acknowledged and it is referenced using the following citation: ‘Olive Schreiner to Havelock Ellis, 12 July 1884, Harry Ransom Research Center, University of Texas at Austin, Olive Schreiner Letters Project transcription’. Please also supply letter line numbers for specific quotations.

Legend
The Project is grateful to the Harry Ransom Humanities Research Center, the University of Texas at Austin, for kindly allowing us to transcribe this Olive Schreiner letter, which is part of its Manuscript Collections. This letter is composed of a number of pages which are now separated in the HRC collections as the result of pre-archiving happenstance, and its beginning is missing. It has been dated by reference to an associated envelope and its postmark, which also provides the address it was sent to. Schreiner stayed at Bolehill near Wirksworth from early to late July 1884, moved to Buxton for about ten days, and then returned to Bole Hill from mid August to early September 1884.

1:  [page/s missing]
2: 
3:  Sh though mine is so completely blended with my mind, that it is not
4:  as strong in me. It is not so easily awakened in me, but it is much more
5:  intense even as a physical feeling I think.
6: 
7:  I am very glad you did not enter the church. How could you think of
8:  it? ^And yet in one way it would have suited you better than any thing.^
9:  I must have a long talk with you some day (perhaps in a letter) on
10:  your use of the word ?ol “God” & the old symbols generally. The use
11:  of them by people like ^you &^ me is never quite true. (That is what
12:  makes Hinton’s writings so false.) We cannot always stop to define
13:  what what we mean by God &c, &c, so the best way is not to use the
14:  terms at all. I have taken care that the word God does not occur in
15:  this last book of mine; hateful, damned name that it is. A word may
16:  become so defiled by bad use that it will take a century before it can
17:  be purified & brought into use again. I’m not explaining what I mean,
18:  but I think you will understand.
19: 
20:  I am now able to understand your feeling for Hinton it was just
21:  ^principally^ the time at which he came to you that has made him so much
22:  to you, & I have now a new kind of feeling to Hinton myself.
23: 
24:  Your passion for that little girl who pulled up her stockings is so
25:  well to me. You darling!
26: 
27:  Yes, you did need nearness to a woman when you were in Australia. I am so
28: 
29:  [top of page torn off] to [papertorn] to you & you to her. I think it was
30:  good for you both. For me all love was meant to he a curse & suffering,
31:  – & yet, ^no,^ not a curse, one wouldn’t have been without it, but I
32:  hope I shall never love any-thing so again.
33: 
34:  You say on one page that you are writing it, & perhaps some one will
35:  one day read it & understand it, & love you. It [top of page torn off]
36: 
37:  ^And^ When I was living just like you on a lonely farm & at night when
38:  my work was over going out to walk under the willow trees or at the
39:  dam wall, & I used to think “One day I must find him.”
40: 
41:  Good bye
42:  Olive
43: 
44:  I am going to keep your diary some time longer because I’ve
45: 
46:  not done with it yet. What made you delicate when you went out to
47:  Australia, my sweet? Goethe has been just for you what he has been to
48:  me & I think ^it was^ at the same time.
49: 
50:  Midday.
51: 
52:  I have just got your letter.
53: 
54:  Yes, I have felt afraid that in my feeling that Hinton had too much
55:  power over you I might effect you too strongly on the other side. But
56:  I think that in after years when you look back we “will” see that I
57:  have been to some extent right. Hinton, is a great man, the world will
58:  he better for hearing what he has to say; you are doing good work in
59:  helping the world to hear it. In truth I do not think it was so much
60:  dear old Hinton himself as the effect of Hinton’s admirers that has
61:  not been good for you. I can quite imagine that if I were among people
62:  who were always telling me I was a second George Sand, I might in the
63:  end fancy I was & lose some of my own virtues in trying to imitate
64:  hers. And yet I never would be George Sand, & I should lose Olive
65:  Schreiner who might be every bit as good.
66: 
67:  If you heard me defending Hinton to other people you wouldn’t say I
68:  “must like him a little”. I love Hinton because he had a great free
69:  loving soul. I hate his clinging to the old symbols when he didn’t
70:  cling to the thing meant
. & his fear of saying the things he meant in
71:  naked black & white. Darling, you mustn’t let me trouble you on this
72:  point. If you feel that I am not good for you in this way you must
73:  tell me not to write about it any more. Perhaps if all Hinton wrote
74:  were nakedly published that kind of holding back I complain of would
75:  be found not to be in the man. Yes, my boy, we are only children
76:  together, to help eachother to grow.
77: 
78:  Why did you tell me about that little cottage, & you all alone in it?
79:  Now I keep wanting it, & the only thing I can do is take a bedroom for
80:  you in a little house about a half a minutes walk from this. Yes, this
81:  is close to Wirksworth. It is the last house on the side of the hill
82:  above the little town. It is about a mile & a half to the station. The
83:  woman here charges me 25/- for board & all That’s not dear is it? I
84:  think the ^best^ plan will be ^to^ arrange that we take our meals together,
85:  & you just have your bedroom in the other house. How long could you
86:  perhaps stay? It would be so much nicer if we could be in the same
87:  house, some-how eh?
88: 
89:  ^Yes I want letters, but I mustn’t get them when you are busy.^
90: 
91:  Olive
92: 


Notation
Draznin’s (1992) version of this letter is different in some respects from our transcription. Cronwright-Schreiner’s (1924) extract is incorrect in various ways.


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