Olive Schreiner Letters Online

Letter Reference	HRC/UNCAT/OS-117
Archive	Harry Ransom Center, University of Texas, Austin
Epistolary Type	Letter
Letter Date	30 April 1887
Address From	Alassio, Italy
Address To
Who To	Havelock Ellis
Other Versions	Cronwright-Schreiner 1924: 116-17; Draznin 1992: 436-7

The manuscript of this letter by Olive Schreiner belongs to the Archive referenced above; its ownership of the original should be acknowledged by referencing the letter as indicated: Copyright transcription: © Olive Schreiner Letters Project. This transcription can be freely used as long as copyright is acknowledged and it is referenced using the following citation: ‘Olive Schreiner to Havelock Ellis, 30 April 1887, Harry Ransom Research Center, University of Texas at Austin, Olive Schreiner Letters Project transcription’. Please also supply letter line numbers for specific quotations.

Legend
The Project is grateful to the Harry Ransom Humanities Research Center, the University of Texas at Austin, for kindly allowing us to transcribe this Olive Schreiner letter, which is part of its Manuscript Collections.

1:  Alassio
2:  Italy April 30 / 87
3: 
4:  I am just finishing my packing, I feel so sad tonight. All my heart
5:  turns with love to you all the time whatever I am doing. I try not to
6:  feel loving to you or to any one but I can’t help it. It is a wild
7:  dark night heavy clouds, for the Riviera I want to know just how you
8:  are, & I can’t. I’ve been so untender to you my darling, my true
9:  one but you know I couldn’t help - my head aches so when any one
10:  mentions Mr. Pearson that I don’t know what I’m doing.
11: 
12:  I love you so my helper, who has helped me so. I couldn’t live
13:  without you. You could do much better without me. I am going to Genoa
14:  tomorrow. I leave this by the ^11^ train. I am so glad to leave Alassio.
15:  I couldn’t have stayed here even a day or two longer.
16: 
17:  I wonder how you feel now you have got back. I have made your coming
18:  home so sad. You have meant to be so tender to me in everything, sweet,
19:  I quite understand, & I see I’ve been wrong to mind. I quite know
20:  how tender you feel to me. It’s that one humanbeing can’t show the
21:  inside of their heart to each other. ?ev I would like to stroke your
22:  tired, tired head so. I never felt so loving to you as tonight I think.
23:  All my heart is drawing towards you.
24: 
25:  I don’t know why the Fortnightly is so determined to have an
26:  allegory. When I get to Amsteg, I’ll be able to work & write a
27:  lovely one on “Woman”, & send them. I dread the long journey
28:  rather. But it won’t be so had when once I’ve started. It's been
29:  so expensive here. Amsteg will be cheaper. I have to stop some hours
30:  in Millan on Monday again. Oh sweet, my boy my comfort, if I could
31:  comfort you. I have such
32: 
33:  ^heart ache for you^
34: 
35:  Your
36:  Olive
37: 
38:  ^Never mind sending me the letter I asked for; it doesn’t matter
39:  it’s all right^
40: 
41:  Your
42:  Olive
43: 
44:  Your horrid hateful Olive
45: 

Notation
The 'lovely' allegory Schreiner sent to the Fortnightly is: "Three Dreams in a Desert" Fortnightly Review August 1887, pp.198-203. Draznin's (1992) version of this letter is in some respects different from our transcription. Cronwright-Schreiner's (1924) extract is incorrect in various ways.